So what do you want to do St. Mike's?? Kill her off because she's old? So she's not eating and she was beginning to swell due to it. What happens is if you don't eat enough your body will leach your proteins. You begin to swell up. I've seen it before with her. She looked like the Michelin man. Was terrible. So she's not eating well, not getting enough food in her and the dietician says we need to put an ng tube in her to feed her maybe tomorrow. So the Dr's say no! So we just let her starve, is that it? She won't take her pills either at times so her blood pressure keeps going up but they won't put her on i.v. meds either. Then don't complain her bp is up.
Her nurse today is Tenzin and she's another gem. Mom has had her before. Poor Tenzin got mom on a bad day, she's pretty delusional and called Tenzin a "bloody bitch" !! I was shocked. She said about 40 minutes after that episode mom apologized to her. Thank goodness. She also told Tenzin that she saw my grandmother and that she's hard of hearing. strange. very strange. I don't like it when people tell me they've seen dead people. Scares the crap out of me. Later my brother calls and he's told she is somewhat confused and is asked if he still wants to talk to her and of course, instead of letting her calm down doesn't he say yes so Tenzin gave her the phone. Next thing I know, whatever the hell he said to her got her all upset and freaking out.
She's yelling for me to come to the hospital.. NOW! I'm trying to find out what is the matter when all of a sudden she tells me "the security guard" (my brother used to be a sheriff) told me my sister Robbie died this morning! Damn.. I have no idea what the hell he said but it triggered something in her and she was so upset that her sister died that morning. It took me quite some time to convince her her sister "Robbie" (both have the same name) passed away 4 years ago almost. Finally she remembered.
She's so confused today. Not much of anything she says makes sense. :-(
Anyway, later in the day I had the above conversation with Dr. Julie. Must find out her last name. Upset me so much I wrote the following letter to Michelle (the dietician who thinks she needs the ng tube) and mom's care manager Vicky:
Well I'm fit to be tied here. At this rate I may as well drop into the funeral home on the way home and tell them to get her paperwork ready. Doesn't matter she isn't eating, they won't put an ng tube in. Says it will make her more delusional. ok so then she'll be a starving nut bar instead of just a nut bar. Oh I beg your pardon, she'll be a fat one too from all the proteins leaching from her system. We've seen that before. Not like it's never happened before to her.
I also asked if they could give her some help because they are complaining she won't take her meds. Turns out she told my brother today the nurses are trying to kill her with the meds. Not funny but really... so I try to give her her meds and today she wouldn't take them from me either although after much cajoling I finally got it in her. I got her next ones in her too thankfully. But it's the stupid bp meds that are given when I'm not here that she sometimes refuses. So I ask if they can't give her them via i.v. for a while until we get her bp settled and stabilized. Well that's a big fat no as well.
So.. we let her starve, and swell up inevitably from lack of food and we don't give her her bp meds via i.v. because.. well I don't know why "because" is. I thought it would give her a foot up. Everything I ask to help her, to gain her strength, to make her better is shot down. So.. we are back to, she's old, she can die. Because that's what I'm getting and I'm getting angry. And my blog is filling up fast. And it's not good either.
Oh.. and we can't put up all 4 railings either because she can put her legs through. Excuse me, but better her leg goes through the rail and I really don't care if it gets stuck there either than to have her hit the floor. So I told Dr. Julie that if she falls out of bed then it's their responsibility. I hope they are willing to take it because if it happens it will come with a lawyer.
And last but not least.. sounds like they are thinking of sending her home very soon too and listen to me.. that's not about to happen until she is more coherent, her bp is stabilized like it used to be before this place messed with her heart meds and removed it causing the shit to hit the fan, and she's not in as much pain in her belly as she's in either. I can deal with her blood count still slowly going up and such but those 3 I can't do at home. And she's not about to go to a nursing home either. With sending her on and off over the last year she doesn't get good care in there. A good example of this is when I broke my foot she stayed 5 days and no one even had the decency to brush the poor old woman's teeth. It's not like she can get up and do it herself. They don't even make sure she drinks her liquid diet either. I'm there 2 and 3 times a damn day. She will be dead in no time if left in that place. And I'll be damned if she's going to lose her family Dr as well. Cripes he's the only one that will listen to her and talk to her and work with her for the betterment of her health. He thinks she's worth something and still contributes to society.
I'll see you tomorrow. I will continue to do my part and try to get her meds into her and feed her even if it means more hours here because I'm not comfortable with watching her swell and get sicker. There is no way on earth you can justify that to me.
So.. that's where I'm leaving this now. I have to get home and I'm worried that she's going to try to get out of bed and fall since they won't allow the 4 rails up. Guess they would rather tie the poor old thing down so she can thrash around and hurt herself and add more bruises to the already dozen she has received while in here.
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